In the post can I have sex? Spousal intimacy during fasting
In the post can I have sex? This question is of concern to many families, especially young ones, and those who have recently enacted church laws. Most believers, of course, will respond negatively. Families, in which the foundations of Orthodox Christianity have been observed for several generations, are of unequivocal opinion on this issue. And yet not everything here is so unambiguous ...
What do people think?
If you conduct a survey among modern people on the topic "Can sex in the post?", opinions will be very different. Someone will say that you can not categorically. Other believe that it is possible, but only married couples. Someone thinks that it is enough to formalize relations in the registry office. And some will impose a ban only on free love, which in general in Orthodoxy is considered a terrible sin. Nevertheless, many people are afraid of having sex during fasting. Where does the roots of these beliefs grow from and what are they caused by?
The essence of fasting in Orthodoxy
So, one of the main questions that askbelievers in the post: "Can I have sex?" Every canon in any religion is not taken from the ceiling. Sense and purpose are necessarily present in everything. In Orthodox Christianity fasting means a time when you need to cleanse your soul of sinful thoughts, giving yourself up to the most ascetic way of life. Excludes any fatty foods: meat, fish, etc. Alcohol, cigarettes are also banned. Well, of course, carnal relations. It is believed that by giving up all this, a person makes a sacrifice to God, thinks about the eternal, makes his being more spiritual. And physical needs, on the contrary, put it on one level with animals that do not have a soul, but who are also doomed to eternal life. Only the eternity of such soulless beings is prepared in the form of hell.
The Bible says that the satiety of many peopleled to death, but abstinence does not threaten anything bad. Moreover, it raises a person above the physical world, makes him stronger, brings him closer to God. Accordingly, if you are wondering in the post, whether it is possible to have sex, the answer from this point of view is one: you can not. Let's take a deeper look at this situation.
Parting words of the saints
In general, if we talk about exactly what we canto have sex in fasting or not, then here it is worth turning to the original source, namely, to the covenants of the apostle Paul. He urged the spouses not to shy away from physical intimacy with each other and make exceptions except for fasting and prayer. But! By mutual agreement. And then again be together, not to give reason to Satan to be tempted.
In other words, the saint gave good to the marriedlove, but the casual connection was considered by Satan's intrigues. And that there was no desire to surrender to them, he urged the spouses to prudence to abstain, so that it was really for the benefit of the soul, and not for harm. That is, he did not set any rigid limits. From this we can conclude that you can have sex in the post, but only if one of the spouses can not abstain for a long time. For example, if the husband really wants, then the wife should not refuse him, so that he is not tempted and sinned on the side.
The apostle Paul was also echoed by other saints. So, for example, St. Dionysius of Alexandria, who lived in the fourth century AD, said that people who married were themselves judges and should independently determine the necessity and duration of abstinence. But Timothy of Alexandria, in general supporting St. Paul, added that it would be nice for spouses to stick to a sexual fast on Saturdays and Sundays. Because these are the days when liturgies are held in the temples. Here we can conclude that if it is very difficult, sex in the post is possible, but it is necessary to restrain oneself at least in the days of liturgies and holy holidays. And the Orthodox world does not know other canonical covenants from the saints.
Twitching
Of course, all believers try to observereligious canons in the post. "Can I have sex at this time?" - they are interested. Religion is too dependent on man. Unfortunately, people are not always preached by highly spiritual people, with pure thoughts ... And even more often fanatics dress in a mantle. And they all turn it upside down. In collections published, in particular, by Russian religious figures, it appears that in the post you can not have sex categorically. And on ordinary days the ban on marital intimacy was imposed, according to them, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Plus a liturgical weekend. In total, it turned out that sex was reserved for parishioners only twice a week. Although the church canons did not require this at all ...
In addition, priests often abuse theirpower, rudely interfere in the personal life of the parishioners. In the history of Russian Orthodoxy there were cases when the clergy arranged a real shadowing for the flock, wishing to establish whether people adhere to restrictions in the intimate life or not.
There are such priests today. Listening to the confessions of the parishioners, they sharply condemn the "warmed up" ones, give instructions, attribute to the spouses a strict punishment in the form of abstinence. Thus, at times, bringing discord to families and even destroying them.
About such inordinately zealous servants more than oncesaid the higher clergy during the cathedrals. It indicated to the priests that it is unacceptable to coerce or induce parishioners to chastity contrary to their will. And recommended to observe special care in talking about family life. But from time to time fanatics are found everywhere.
The opinions of the priests
Of course, if you ask a strict priest: "Is it possible to have sex in a fast?" - then, most likely, he will answer negatively. Just a reasonable church minister, unlike a fanatic, will not insist on this too much. His answer will be approximately this: "It is undesirable, but if your flesh is weak, then it is possible, but try to abstain as much as you can bear." People in this century are weak in their passions. The Holy Fathers will not impose very strict prohibitions on them, so that people do not turn their backs on the church and follow the canons as much as they can.
Archbishop Elijah - Novgorod ruler -said that it is especially important to abstain in the Easter week, as well as Passion and Fedorov (the first). By the way, even the most tolerant clergymen recommend that spouses exclude sexual intimacy even during the Holy Week, if one does not manage to restrain throughout the entire post.
Verdict of physicians and psychologists
And what about the abstinence of people who are far fromreligion? What is the position of science in this matter? Physicians of the soul and body, that is, psychologists and physicians, naturally do not impose a ban on sex during fasting. But there is nothing harmful in abstinence, if it does not take too long. In their opinion, there is even some benefit in this, because after a certain break the sexual sensations become aggravated and bring much more pleasure to the spouses.
And how do the others?
How many religions, so many opinions. Each has its own dogmas, prohibitions and restrictions. One of the most strict is Islam. So, it must be said that Muslims in this issue are not very categorical. Islam does not prohibit sexual life during Ramadan (practically the same as for Orthodox fasting). But! Permission extends only to patients, nomads and people temporarily settled in a foreign land. They can have sex during the fast, and everyone else will have to wait.
Orthodox exceptions
But Orthodoxy - especially modern - is notsuch a beast. There are times when the couple met after a long separation, and their meeting fell just on the post. For example, a serviceman came home for a week, or the sailor returned from a long voyage, and a month later he again on the road. It would be cruel to demand from them abstinence and, according to the teachings of St. Paul, even sinfully. Especially if there is a new separation in front. In such cases, the Orthodox Church turns a blind eye to dogma and gives kindness to physical love.
The important point is reciprocity
It happens that in the family one of the spouseschurched, and the other is not. Or just someone stronger in spirit, and someone - weaker. And then, while the first is fasting furiously (including sexually), the second makes up for the deficit on the side. From the point of view of the Orthodox Church, this situation is even more sinful than carnal relations between spouses during fasting. And if you are not sure of your partner, you doubt his fortress, it is better not to practice abstinence at all, but to go to “hunger” gradually: through conversations, prayers and confessions.
Personal confessor will answer
So you can or can not have sex duringpost? Certain conclusions will make this article. But in the world there is not and can not be anything unambiguous, categorical. A person must be flexible, listen to his soul ...
And also each family is a purely individual case. And circumstances are different. Therefore, the wisest apostle Paul said that abstinence should be by mutual consent of the spouses.
If the two come to some kind of decision notIt is possible, the priest will help. Just do not turn on such an intimate question to an outside father. You can trust a confessor who has been leading a family for a long time, is aware of the problems and circumstances of the life of the spouses and will be able to prompt a reasonable, correct answer for this particular case. Or rather, not even an answer, but advice. Which will save spousal love, and will save from sin.
